By Erin Quinlan. July 24, pm Updated July 25, am. The county social services worker, who divorced in after a year marriage, had been set up with a friend of a friend, and was shocked by how grabby he was. Despairing, and desperate for some quality control, she downloaded her first-ever dating app. More and more middle-aged folks — and even seniors — are getting back in the dating game these days. The latest stats from the Pew Research Center show that spouses over 50 are calling it quits at double the rate their predecessors did in , while a nationwide AARP survey in February found that 13 million grandparents are down for romance. Silicon Valley has caught on, and is cashing in on late daters: The Lumen dating app, which launched in , recently surpassed 1 million downloads, according to a company rep, while 2 million users this year alone have signed up with OurTime , run by the parent company of Match. But the rules and playing field have changed drastically in recent years — and many newly single daters are struggling to make lasting, meaningful connections in the age of texts and Tinder.
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She now meets guys at do-it-yourself crafting meet-ups and her rock-climbing gym. But when it comes to the algorithms of love, many say they are losing faith. They wonder whether the valley — a place infamously inhospitable to romance and with the most lopsided gender imbalance in the country — has proven too vexing for even its own dating apps. Melissa Hobley, an executive at the dating app OkCupid, hears the complaints about the apps regularly and thinks they get a bad rap.
One thing distinguishes the Silicon Valley dating pool: The men-to-women ratio for employed, young singles in the San Jose metro area is higher here than any other major area. There were men for every women, compared to about to nationwide, of never-married young people between 25 and 34 in San Jose, U. Census data from show. Men make up about 70 percent of the workforces of Apple, Facebook, and Google parent Alphabet, company filings show.
The companies are also so big that different departments, with differing gender balances, barely mix. Men, in return, say they feel outmatched or overlooked. The number of adults living together out of wedlock has climbed about 30 percent over the last decade, Census data show. Millions across the U. In the San Francisco and San Jose areas, home to dating apps like Coffee Meets Bagel, Zoosk and The League, the marriage rate for adults ages 18 to 49 fell about 6 percent between and , Census data show.
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When dating apps and websites fail, Silicon Valley ‘tech elites’ turn to an old-school resource to find love – human matchmakers.
By Fiona Kelliher. Powered in part by the tech world’s appreciation for avoiding unpleasant tasks or wasting time, plus a regional concentration of wealth and online dating fatigue, elite matchmaking has cemented itself as a small but thriving industry in the Bay Area. You can probably name half a dozen ride-sharing and food-delivery services off the top of your head. And even if you scoff at those who use them, you’ve probably heard of companies for outsourcing laundry pickup, dog walking, clothes shopping and plant buying.
But there’s one service hardly anyone will admit they’re paying for, even as it empties their pockets, shapes the way they dress and perhaps even who they marry: high-end matchmaking. And while the sky-high cost — ranging up to hundreds of thousands of dollars — is prohibitive, clients have to do more than just pay.
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Subscriber Account active since. A new story from The Washington Post’s Drew Harwell delves into the dating scene in the Valley, and how the nation’s tech elite are beginning to feeling hopeless about their chances of finding a romantic partner. The Post cites dating app fatigue as one of the causes. Many dating apps may have originated in the Valley, but singles there are just as tired of swiping through seemingly endless potential matches and leaving their love lives in the hands of algorithms.
Dating apps aren’t the only problem — culture is playing a role, too. According to several young singles the Post spoke to in the San Jose and San Francisco area, many of the men feel “outmatched or overlooked,” while women report feeling turned off by the strange or egotistical men the tech industry can attract.
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I needed the excitement. And then you have some experiences, and you get a little wiser. But according to Amy Andersen, the San Francisco-based matchmaker who worked with Mona to find the right man, the trend is bigger than her and her girlfriends. As fate, or some algorithm, would have it, the tech world is rife with men with similar complaints. Some are modern masters of the universe. They work for companies and, in some cases, have created or developed products that changed the world and made them and many other people millions.
But that does not mean that they can find the right woman Saturday night. Jay was married for 17 years before divorcing amicably. He missed the rise of online dating, though he made up for lost time a year after his divorce. After spinning through a lot of faces, and going on a lot of dates, Jay decided to seek professional help. Andersen founded her company, Linx Dating , in part to find women for the men of Silicon Valley, who can be peculiar, to say the least.
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There is saying amongst women trying to date in Silicon Valley: The odds are good, but the goods are odd. There are tons of guys, but they tend to be socially awkward, career-obsessed, and prone to a Peter Pan mentality. What’s it like to try to find love in the Valley? This lawyer, in her early thirties and living in the heart of Silicon Valley, has tried everything: online dating, going to clubs, and even Linx Dating, a high-end Valley matchmaking service.
On the condition of anonymity she agreed to tell all. They call it “Man Jose,” and it is so true. If you are even an average or above average female, finding a date isn’t an issue. You have a lot of guys you can go on dates with, but what makes it difficult is finding a viable partner. Most of the men went to Ivy League schools, are ambitious, and came out here because it’s the mecca of the tech world.
There’s a great mix of guys from all over world, and there are interesting types of people to meet. That said, not a lot of them are viable.
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